My younger son’s town travel coach is a nice enough white-haired retired guy who has no wife or kids. He might have played baseball in high school, and he might not have. But having him coach our team is a good match in a theoretical sense; it gives this guy something to do, and our Little League doesn’t have the money to pay for a real coach.
I ran into problems with the coach this past summer when my son was playing on our districts team. My son struggles with the ups and downs in baseball and has had tantrums that are admittedly unacceptable. In the spring, he had a crazy tantrum after striking out twice at a game that I wasn’t at. Apparently he was yelling and cursing at my wife when she tried to calm him down. They wound up suspending him for a game. I didn’t take issue with the punishment, but I didn’t like that they didn’t tell him he was suspended until warm-ups for the following game, which took place almost a week after his freak out. My son had gone to a team practice in the interim and they said nothing about the suspension. And then to surprise him with it by calling him off the field while he was warming up with his teammates minutes before the game seemed cruel.
“You have to understand why we’re doing this,” the coach said to me.
“I have no problem with the punishment,” I said, “I just think it could have been handled better.”
“You should have heard what he was yelling at your wife,” the coach said and then shook his head solemnly like my son had killed someone.
“I’m not arguing with the punishment,” I repeated.
I didn’t make an issue out of it, and my son served his suspension, and I thought the matter was done with.
However, during the summer season, my son sulked after he popped up in a districts game. As he headed back to the dugout, our coach who had been coaching third stepped out toward him and held out his hand for my son to slap. I cringed when my son left the coach hanging and disappeared into the dugout, because ideally he would have slapped the coach’s hand, but from my perspective a little sulking was progress and much better than a freak out.
The following game, an elimination game for the team, my son was batting last and playing out of position at first base. He usually batted cleanup and was one of our best fielders.
“What did I do wrong?” he asked the coach in the dugout.
“You know what you did wrong,” the coach told him.
“I don’t know,” my son said.
“Think about it,” the coach said.
I was livid that this coach was that petty and thin-skinned that he dropped my son in the batting order, because he hadn’t slapped his hand? I also had a major problem with dropping a kid in the batting order (to shame him?) as a punishment. For one, it sent a horrible message to the kid who normally batted last. I also thought it was making a mockery of the game. When a basketball coach has an issue with his point guard, he doesn’t play him at power forward. If Bryce Harper is flipping out too much, Rob Thomson doesn’t bat him last. This wasn’t a discipline school, and there should be some integrity for the game. This was not also a random game for us. It was an elimination game during districts.
If you had an issue with my son, suspend him again or kick him off the team or make him run laps (why did they never make him run laps as a punishment?).
Lastly, I didn’t like he was basically still being punished for his outburst in the spring. If I had known he was going to be subject to a zero tolerance policy, where any sign of negativity on his part would be grounds for punishment, I would have pulled him from the team before the season. My son was 11 years old, and not Bobby Knight, and it takes time to work though emotional issues. It’s not an on-off switch.
I want to note here that we were taking my son to a therapist to work on strategies for controlling his emotions and dealing with failure. It wasn’t like we didn’t realize there was an issue.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BATTING LAST AS A PUNISHMENT? LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS.
For information about the emotional side of baseball, see:
- I Spent 30K on Youth Baseball Last Year; Here’s How
- Youth Baseball: Why Do I Care So Much?
- Anger Management and Youth Baseball: How to Calm Down
- How to Manage Your Kid’s Baseball Tantrums and Meltdowns
- 4 Ways to Respond to a Coach Playing Favorites
- How to Stop Being a Crazy Baseball Dad
- How to Be a Good Baseball Dad in the Backyard
- Is It Now Fashionable to Hate On Baseball Dads?
- Are Local Little Leagues Bad for Baseball?
For information on hitting, see:
- How to Get Out of a Hitting Slump
- 4 Best Baseball Batting Aids (No. 3 is Free)
- 4 Hitting Drills You Need to Do Before Every Game
- 4 Old School Baseball Drills You Need to Be Using
- 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying a Baseball Bat
For information on pitching, see:
- What You Need to Know About Little League Elbow
- 4 Ways To Increase Your Kid’s Pitching Velocity
- Is the Circle Change Dangerous for Youth Pitchers?
- Why I Don’t Let My Son Pitch in Little League
- How to Make Sure Your Kid Isn’t Overpitched in Basebal
For ways to get faster, see: