Having your kid get kicked off his baseball team is a sports parent’s nightmare. But you can navigate your way out of it, and even reconcile with the coach.
I have one son who throws his helmet when he strikes out. My other son throws his helmet in celebration when the team scores. One has been thrown off a team, and the other has almost been thrown off a team.
Here’s some advice on how to not overreact and be proactive when you get the call from a coach that it’s not working out.
Do Not Panic When You Hear From Baseball Coach that Your Kid has been Thrown Off the Team
Unless your kid did something truly horrific, there is probably a really good chance the coach will reconsider. Often the decision to expel your kid was made in the heat of the moment, and you should send the coach a text or email a few hours after the game hoping to resolve the issue.
For information on getting along with coaches, see my blog post on talking to coaches about playing time.
Admit That Your Youth Athlete can be Disruptive
My younger son had thrown his helmet down after he had struck out to end a close game, and the helmet bounced up and hit the sister of a teammate who was standing by the dugout. She wasn’t hurt, but she started crying, and this was the last straw for his coach. But again, we had just lost a tight game, and the coach was exhausted and upset to begin with.
I texted the coach later that day that I understood why he had made the decision, and that my kid’s behavior had been inexcusable. I told him that I was taking the incident very seriously, and I was going to be much more proactive to address his anger issues and work with him on coping strategies. I then said I would understand if he stuck with the decision, but that I hoped he would give my kid one more chance.
The coach wrote back the following day saying he was back on the team but with a tight leash.
Take Blame for the Dismissal from the Baseball Team (When You’re the Problem and Not Your Kid)
My older son’s coaches loved him. It was me they could do without. Not surprisingly, when a kid is kicked off a team, it’s usually because of the parents.
In my situation, I got a call when I was driving home from a mandatory Little League meeting from one of the coaches.
“Hey,” one of the assistant coaches said, “we were hoping to speak to you at the end of the meeting,” he said. “We’re in the parking lot. We’re all here. I hate that it’s come to this, but we’ve thought about this a lot and we feel after all that’s gone down this week, and with what was said, it’s best that Sam not play with us this season.”
“You’re kicking Sam off the team?” I asked in total shock.
The season started the following week. I would never be able to find him another travel team in that short a time.
Sam was the town’s best pitcher for his year—really their only pitcher—and when I got into the fight with the coach over a bunch of things, including pitch count for the upcoming season (he had refused to take my kid out of one game after 90 pitches), I calculated that Sam’s talent meant that they would eventually work things out with me. Never did I think they would do this.
I was almost at my house, and I felt such dread at the thought of looking at my son, who lived for baseball, knowing I would have to tell him he wouldn’t have a travel team for the spring.
“You’re in the parking lot?” I asked into the phone.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Give me five minutes. I’ll go back and meet you there.”
Don’t be Too Proud to Grovel to the Coaches
It was like a scene from the Sopranos in that we were in a dark empty parking lot, and it was all of them against just me and it was menacing. The assistant coach from the phone was about my size, but the other assistant coach was built like a linebacker and had a coarse beard and rough manners. The main coach stood a few feet away, not engaging with me directly.
I probably should have been worried about my own personal safety. But I was only worried that Sam wouldn’t have a team to play for.
“This is going to kill, Sam,” I told them.
I sensed they were surprised I was groveling and not coming at them aggressively.
A Little League board member leaving the meeting late looked over at us as he walked to his car, and the coaches smiled at him and waved like we were having a normal conversation.
“You realize we texted the whole weekend about what we were going to do about you,” the bearded coach said after the board member drove off. “You ruined my weekend.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“If we were to consider having Sam back,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to hear anything from you all season. You talk to us once—about anything—and he’s off the team.”
“You won’t hear from me,” I said.
They agreed to reconsider and told me they’d have an answer for me in the next few days. We all got into our respective cars and drove away.
If You Get Kicked off a Town Baseball Team, You Can Always Try a Club Team
I went home and immediately sent out emails to club teams seeing if they had any open spots. One wrote back, and Sam had a tryout the next day. I almost hugged the club coach when he told me Sam made the team. I then texted the town coach and told him to Venmo me back our money for the season.
With craziness going on (from parents and coaches), it’s not surprise club teams are a 15 billion dollar industry and growing.
Do you have any tips for handling getting kicked off a team? Let us know in the comments!
For more information about the emotional side of baseball, see:
- How to Manage Your Kid’s Baseball Tantrums and Meltdowns
- Anger Management and Youth Baseball: How to Calm Down
- How to Stop Being a Crazy Baseball Dad
- 5 Ways Youth Baseball Teams Cheat, and How to Respond
- How to Be a Good Baseball Dad in the Backyard
- How to Deal with Umpires in Youth Baseball
- Is It Now Fashionable to Hate On Baseball Dads?
For information on hitting, see:
- How to Get Out of a Hitting Slump
- 4 Best Baseball Batting Aids (No. 3 is Free)
- 4 Hitting Drills You Need to Do Before Every Game
- 4 Old School Baseball Drills You Need to Be Using
For information on pitching, see:
My son was kicked off club ball team for “too many kids on the team” is this even allowed? My son is very well behaved. This is upsetting. He wasn’t even able to say goodbye to his teammates that he bonded with already.
Seems very unfair to do during season or right before season starts. How did they not know going in that there would be too many players?
Thank you. Yes very unfair. They did know from the start there were 15 kids. We didn’t know they could do that. We had already invested in the uniform and monthly fees too. Now it’s too late to register with any other teams. Thanks for listening.
I hope you’re able to find a new team. Good luck!!
this happened to my kids here in Dodge city ks my 2 boys were thrown off a baseball team all bc im making hats this coach is a bully he has been doing this to other kids and his high school players
What do you do when a req team tells you your kids head isn’t in the game at 8 yo modified kid pitch?! Out of all 13 kids on our team, his batting average is 7th on the team. How is this even ok? This is supposed to be about teaching the kids how to play and love baseball? Am I wrong??