My 14u son was playing third last weekend when the puny kid who had recently switched from second to shortstop started barking orders at him. Tuck in your shirt, the kid said, tie your shoes, throw the ball harder to first.
My son looked at him funny.
“I’m shortstop, captain of the infield,” the kid said with bravado like he was wearing a Spiderman suit.
“Okay, captain,” my son replied dismissively.
“Tuck in your shirt,” the kid said.
“You really should be worrying about your height and not me,” my son said, ending the conversation.
The same kid started making fun of a teammate’s teeth in the dugout later in the game, causing the kid to cry. Now I subscribe to the credo that there’s no crying in baseball, but still the shortstop kid was being a jerk.
All of this reminded me of something I witnessed when my son was 10. The coach of our team was a big burly guy who yelled at the kids all the time. Before one game, I overheard him telling his son in a gruff football coach’s voice that he was the leader of the team.
“Now go lead,” he told his son, pointing to the other kids.
The son then went out and yelled at his teammates, sounding very similar to his dad. It was like the toxic law firm culture I used to be in where the partners would berate the senior associates, who would then internalize that dynamic and berate the junior associates, who would then keep it going and berate the paralegals, who would then berate the poor mail room people.
I’m here to say what should be obvious to everyone: we shouldn’t be teaching kids that bullying behavior is equivalent to leadership.
And the idea that the shortstop or even the best player on the team is automatically “the leader” is sort of like giving every kid a participatory trophy. It’s entitlement culture. You have to earn the right to be a leader. You have to create relationships with players. You have to exhibit qualities worthy of respect and admiration. And you have to be willing to sacrifice for the team and do anything for your teammates.
Michael Jordan might have had bullying ways when his teammates weren’t meeting his high expectations, but Jordan held himself to those same expectations and his teammates knew it.
Back to my son’s situation from last weekend, there are certain kids on the team he respects and I asked him what he would have done if one of those kids reminded him to tuck in his shirt.
“I would have tucked it in,” he said.
So the next time some kid says to your kid that he’s shortstop, captain of the infield, and then orders him around, your kid should tell him where to stuff it.
For more Club Baseball Dad, see:
- Should You “Reclassify” Your Kid for High School Baseball?
- Are You On the Wrong Baseball Club Team? Maybe.
- I Spent 30K on Youth Baseball Last Year; Here’s How
- Youth Baseball: Why Do I Care So Much?
- Anger Management and Youth Baseball: How to Calm Down
- How to Manage Your Kid’s Baseball Tantrums and Meltdowns
- What’s Your Baseball End Game?
- How to Stop Being a Crazy Baseball Dad
- How to Be a Good Baseball Dad in the Backyard
- Is It Okay to Complain About Fielding Errors?
- Are Local Little Leagues Bad for Baseball?
For information on hitting, see:
- How to Get Out of a Hitting Slump
- 4 Best Baseball Batting Aids (No. 3 is Free)
- 4 Hitting Drills You Need to Do Before Every Game
- 4 Old School Baseball Drills You Need to Be Using
- 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying a Baseball Bat
For information on pitching, see:
- What You Need to Know About Little League Elbow
- 4 Ways To Increase Your Kid’s Pitching Velocity
- Is the Circle Change Dangerous for Youth Pitchers?
- Why I Don’t Let My Son Pitch in Little League
- How to Make Sure Your Kid Isn’t Overpitched in Basebal
For ways to get faster, see: